Nightmares
by castlecoffeelover
Summary: Castle hasn't heard from Beckett for a month but one night, she calls him at 2am sobbing for him to comfort her. Set a month after Beckett gets shot.


**This story has been in my head forever! **

**This will be a one shot for now unless you all leave me reviews if you want more. :)**

**I do not own Castle**

* * *

The nightmares never stop.

They come every night and were in her head all day. Whatever she did, they never went away. She tried everything. Warm milk before bed, music to calm her down. She even tried sleeping pills but nothing kept them away.

They were always the same. Montgomery lying on the ground, bleeding out. Her speech, Castle attacking her to the ground, the bullet ripping though her skin. The pain, Castle talking to her.

_'Kate? Shh. Kate, please. Stay with me. Kate. Don't leave me, please. __Stay with me, okay? Kate, I love you. I love you Kate.'_

She played the words in her head over and over. Like a record player. It never stopped.

And here she was now, sitting on her bed, shaking and crying over a stupid dream.

It was only 2am. She finally fell asleep around 12 hoping and praying that for at least one night she would be nightmare free tonight.

It was only a month after she got out of the hospital. She stayed with her dad in his cabin for a few weeks but she got tired of the quietness. She was so used to the city and the sounds. It drove her crazy.

Her dad was due back to work soon away so she thought it would be good to come home.

At first she was happy to come home but after a while, It got worse. The cars, the people, the noise. Everything made her jump.

She didn't go out too much, scared to walk around by her self

And to top it off, she didn't have Castle.

She tried to call. She really did but, every time she would pick up her phone, his words would come back to her.

_'Kate, I love you. I love you Kate.'_

She couldn't handle it now. She wasn't ready and she couldn't let him see her like this. She needs him but at this time, she doesn't want to put him though it. All she is, is damaged goods. Why would Castle want to be with someone like her? So broken.

She thought about what it meant. Maybe he didn't even mean it. Maybe he just said it to her because he knew she was going to die.

He doesn't really love her. Or does he?

She thought about it all the time. Calling him. She picked up the phone everyday but would never look up his contact.

But tonight.. Tonight she would do more than look up his contact.

* * *

Castle was lying in bed, trying desperately to find some sleep.

This is what it was like every night. He hardly slept. Staying up for hours, just letting his mind go back to that horrible day a month ago.

He stops calling Kate after the 20th time. He called, and called and called. But she never answered. He even called Lanie and she told him just to give Kate some space.

So he did.

He missed her. He missed her so much. Her cherry scented hair, the sound her boots made when she walked up to him. Her smile that could light up a whole room. And the most thing, bringing her coffee.

It's only been a month but it seems like years.

Castle stands up and starts to walk out the bedroom door to get a glass of water but he doesn't get out of the door before he hears his phone.

It's 2am. Who in the world would be calling at this time?

He walks over to his phone where he left it on the night stand and his heart stops.

It's Kate.

He has waited all this time. But why is she calling him this late?

"Kate?" He says in to the phone but is only met by silence. "Hello?"

"Castle?" He hears her let out on a sign, sounding like she's crying.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing.. I just. Never mind. I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry."

"No! No wait. Kate, you can tell me. What's going on?" Castle says and sits down on the edge of the bed.

"Um.." Kate starts to say but stops.

"Kate, you can tell me anything."

"I just... I need you, Castle." She lets out on a sob.

"Do you want me to come over?" Castle asks and stands up, looking for a coat and his keys.

"I just wanted to hear your voice. I don't know what to do." She says, sobbing in to the phone. "I need you Rick. I can't do this anymore. It hurts.. hurts too much. I just want to say goodnight and that I lo.."

"No! Kate, you listen to me. What ever you're doing or thinking, you need to stop. I'm coming over now." Trying to calm her down but she cries even more.

"But it hurts too much." He barely hears over the phone..

"I know it does sweetie, but you need to stop whatever you are doing and you need to wait on me to get there okay?" He opens the door and runs out.

"Okay." She signs.

"Just five minutes, okay? Can you hang in there?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, where are you?" Castle asked when he got in the car and pulled out.

"I'm um, in the bathroom on the floor." Kate says as she sobs again.

"Okay, okay. Shhh. It's okay Kate, I'm almost here, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll use the key you gave me and let my self in, so you don't have to get up. I'm about to pull in."

"Okay." Kate lets out a sign.

* * *

When Castle gets to Kate's door, he starts to feel nervous. What is he about to walk in on?

Castle pulls out his key Kate gave me a year ago for _'emergency's only.'_

He opens the door wide open and walks in. All he sees is her dark apartment. Not any sound is coming from inside.

_'I'm um, in the bathroom on the floor.' _He remembers Kate saying.

He comes to the living room and turns on the light to see. He has been in her apartment before but never her bedroom.

He walks past the living room and comes to a door, opens it and finds a bathroom but It's only the guest bathroom. He walks down the hall and finds another door and finds that It's Kate's bedroom. He doesn't linger in the room, only caring about finding Kate.

He sees light coming from under the door, he guesses is her bathroom and he knows for sure when he hears a sob and opens the door.

"Kate?"

Kate is lying on her side, on the bathroom floor curled up with her legs to her chest. A sobbing mess.

"Oh Kate. Come here." Kate's head shoots up and when she sees Castle, she jumps up off the floor, runs to him and jumps up in his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. "Shh, Kate I got you." He says and she sobs even more.

"I..I...Castle." Kate tries to get out but fails.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay." Rick says hugging her more to his chest and turns around to walk out the bathroom and in to her dark bedroom to sit at the end of her bed with Kate sitting on his lap.

"I'm so sorry Castle" She says, sitting back to look him in the face with long, hot, tears in her eyes.

"Shh Kate, you don't need to be sorry." Castle looks her in the eye and brings his hand up to brush a piece of hair behind her eye.

"Yes.. yes I do."

"Kate." Castle starts to say but Kate cuts him off.

"No, Castle I need to say this. I.. I should have called you. It's been a month and I haven't even called and I'm so.." Kate breaks off in a small sob. "So sorry. I just needed time to.. to think about everything that happened and I'm..so scared."

"Kate It's okay."

"Castle, It's not okay! I lied to you! I remember what happened the guy I got shot!" Kate lets out and regrets it when she sees his face turn cold.

Castle lets out a sigh and picks Kate up off of his lap, places her on the bed and stands up. He walks a few feet away from the bed and turns his back on her.

"You told me you didn't remember anything and now your saying you remember?"

"Everything." She whispers and Castle turns to face her.

"You remember..."

"You love me." Kate cuts him off and Castle says nothing. "I understand if your mad and hate me. I deserve it." She says and looks down.

"I don't hate you Kate but I want a reason to why you would lie to me."

"I don't deserve you! You have to understand that when I got shot.." Kate trials off, trying not to break down in sobs again. "When I woke up, I didn't remember anything but this past month, I started to remember everything. I was just so lost Castle. I couldn't talk to anyone about it because It was too much for me to handle. I didn't want anyone to see me like this so went to my dad's cabin. After a while I couldn't take it anymore in that place so I came here. I wanted to call you, Castle but I couldn't. I couldn't bring you in this mess with me. I wanted to be more for you. I want to be enough for you."

"Kate, you are always enough for me."

"No I'm not. Back then I might have been but not now. I'm so damaged, Castle. I, I have PTSD. I jump at every sound. I can't even go out for even an hour without wanting to scream my head off at all the sounds. You need someone who is not like me, I'm not worth it." She says and lets another tear loose.

"Kate. No. None of that is true. You may be damaged but never too damaged to be with me. I'm the one that doesn't deserve you. You have PTSD, we can work on that. I can help you, I want to help you." Castle comes to sit down on the bed and pulls Kate in to the previous position they were in. "We can work though it all."

Kate puts her arms around his neck and breathes him in and after a moment of silence, she speaks up.

"Did you mean it?" She pulls back to look at him and he gives her a confused look. "Did you mean it when you said you love me?"

"Yes, every word of it Kate." Castle says and gives her a little smile.

"I love you too Castle." Kate leans in and is about to kiss him but he pulls back.

"Wait. What about Josh?"

"Castle, do you really think I would kiss you if I was with Josh?"

"You guys broke up?"

"Yeah, I really liked him. But It just wasn't enough."

"Am I going to be... enough?"

"Yeah." She smiles and leans in to his warm lips.

They share a brief kiss. Not waning to get too carried away since Kate just had a breakdown.

When they pull back Kate cringes her teeth.

"You okay? Did I hurt you?" Rick says pulling back.

"No you didn't hurt me. It's just, my wound pulls sometimes and It still hurts when I move."

Castle moves his hands and puts them on her back, rubbing up and down.

"Is that why you were on the bathroom floor? And said it hurts?"

"Yeah. I.. I thought I heard something outside so I ran in here and fall over my bag over there and when I fell, It pulled it and I just felt better lying in the bathroom in case I got sick."

"You get sick a lot?" Castle asks and pulls her in to him to rest her head on his chest.

"Sometimes. It comes and goes."

"Can.. can I see?"

"My wound?"

"Yeah, if that's not too much to ask?"

"Um.." Kate pulls back and gives him a sacred look.

"I won't touch it."

"Okay." Kate nods and pulls back from him. She put on a pair of yoga pants and a blue t-shirt this morning. She pulled off her t-shirt and put it on the bed.

"Oh my gosh, Kate." Castle takes one look at it and his eyes feel up with tears.

"It doesn't look as bad as it was."

It was still red from where the bullet hit her but it looked better.

"How bad does it hurt?"

"I can't even explain it. It was really bad but It's gotten a little better to where I can move around more.

"Well, Now I'm here to help you. I'm here fo you, always." Castle smiles and leans in to give her another kiss.

When they pull apart, they lean their heads together and breathe each other in.

"I should get going. You need some sleep."

"Can.. can you stay. Please? I don't want to be alone tonight. I keep having nightmares."

"Is that why your up at 2am?"

"Yeah.. I couldn't go back to sleep." Kate looked down at her lap and Castle puts his hand on her chin to left her head.

"I'll stay."

"Okay and no funny business." Kate gives him a look and puts her shirt back on.

"No funny business." Castle smiles."I'll be right back." He kisses her lips, gets up and walks in the living room to lock the front door and turn off the lights. When he comes back, Kate is already on the right side of the bed, curled up in the covers.

Since Castle came in the middle of night, he had blue sweat pants and a black t-shirt so he crawls in on the right side of the bed.

As soon as he crawls in the her bed, Kate rolls over and cuddles up to him, puts her head on this chest and wraps her arm around him.

"I have missed you." He says and kisses the side of her face.

"I missed you too." Kate signs.

"We will get though this. together."

"Okay." Kate turns her head and gives him a goodnight kiss.

Kate falls asleep in the arms of the man she loves.

And for once, there's not any nightmares for the night.

* * *

**Please review! :)**


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